Fertility: What I Wish I’d Known

Fempower Health founder, Georgie Kovacs, articulates what it’s like to be past her own fertility journey and look back. Here is what she wishes she had known years before she began trying to conceive. To read more about Georgie’s individual journey, click here.

One: Fertility is Unknown Territory

First, until you’ve been through something, you will never understand it as well as once you’ve gone through it. This means that you have to give yourself a break. There are a lot of “coulda, woulda, shouldas” in fertility. You cannot anticipate what you will or won’t encounter in your own journey.

It’s like having a wedding. Once you have a wedding, you reflect back to all of the times you were in or around weddings and had opinions. Pre-experience thoughts and feelings are very different than post-experience thoughts and feelings. And once you’ve been through something, you have an unparalleled shift in understanding and empathy for others.

Even after I had a baby, I can look with such clarity on all of the missed opportunities to help out or communicate better with friends who have children. I could have bought more thoughtful presents, but I just didn’t know.

And the reality is, you don’t know what you don’t know. There is such an immense gap even in what fertility specialists do and don’t know. The number of unexplained fertility diagnoses alone is testimony to that. In large part, women are the champions of their own health when it comes to overall wellness and especially fertility. That’s why there is such an acute need for Fertility4Me and platforms like this, that do some of the research work for you and provide a context for connection.

Every journey is unpredictable and uncontrollable. Acknowledging that your journey will be personal and challenging is the only way to find peace. You will make the best decision you can on the day that you make it. Own that and rest in it.