Regardless of where you’re at, struggling to conceive is overwhelming and often heartbreaking. Data shows this journey makes one feel as distressed as being diagnosed with cancer, heart disease, or HIV. After both 8.5 years of experiencing this journey myself and talking one-on-one with many like-minded women and couples, there seem to be a few key themes for coping.
1. Accept this will be a journey you can’t fully control.
Probably the most commonly heard quote is, “You will get your baby, but the path may not be as anticipated.”
As you know, there are several paths, including using a woman’s eggs ordonor eggs, sperm, or embryos. There is also the option of surrogacy and adoption. One may start out hoping for a biological child, but due to a variety of circumstances, may find this is not possible and from there, must make several tough decisions.
Alternatively, should a biological child be achievable, the length of time it takes for the Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI) to determine the underlying medical condition(s) and just the right protocol is unclear. Remember, reproductive medicine continues to evolve, and there remain many mysteries around the miracle of life. This truly is personalized medicine.
Simply put, one’s path and timeline is unpredictable.
2. Be clear on your goals and parameters.
Trying to conceive can be an addictive ride. We are left to plot how we optimize costs, ensure work won’t find out, manage doctor appointments, plan when to proceed with a given treatment to least disrupt our schedule, talk to people about how their treatment worked and ho